The Year I Ran the Year... 2020.

July 26, 2020

“Wearing a mask is the equivalent of the government ushering you into a rail car.” And “COVID is a government hoax.” These are the memes that I see and the commentary I read when I’m laying in bed at midnight. Day 8. When the thought of lifting my head off the pillow exhausts me but the idea of falling asleep seems impossible because my body hurts so badly. Knowing all too well the virus: it’s very real.

Here’s my only advice for everyone... especially those saying “it’s my body”:

Know your normal body temperature. 

Know your normal oxygen level.

Know your normal pulse rate.

Know your normal fluid intake.

Take a moment now to learn what your body is when it’s “normal”....

Because if you get this virus- the one that makes you go from running 5 miles a day to trying to catch your breath because you simply stood up-you’ll need to know all those stats. Because your body won’t be yours anymore. And you’ll wish you had taken a moment to document what “normal” was because the “new normal” is a nightmare. And you just want to wake up. But you’re in so much pain you pray you just fall asleep.

July 30, 2020

There are a lot of unanswered messages and unreturned calls on my phone and for that I do apologize. I had intentions of posting an update on social media but there’s only so much social media you can handle when everyone is arguing over how to “cure” the “fake” virus you’re currently battling yourself.

Everyone is experiencing COVID differently. Thankfully I have moved forward from IV fluids, the inability to leave my bed and a high temperature. I’ve had a couple of setbacks this week but I’m working on it. Fatigue, shortness of breath, body aches/inflammation and a sore throat are what have decided to stick around (which means I don’t have a voice).

I’m following doctor’s instructions. I’m doing as I’m told. And there is nothing that I currently need.... except to have everyone take a time out real quickly. Remember that while you rip each other to shreds over a pandemic that has the country deeply divided— there are REAL people actually battling the virus you speak of as a conspiracy, joke or a political ploy.

And those that have it can do nothing but sit inside all alone— isolated from everyone they love— and try to get better. All the while knowing the world outside is fighting OVER the virus they’re just trying TO fight.

August 4, 2020

Today is the first day in about 2.5 weeks that I’m feeling like a human again. The symptoms that remain will be around for a while (and I’m coming to terms with that). Today I took another test (at Dickies Arena) and was able to see the faces of some of my favorite people that I have been on this Covid journey with since Day 1 but haven’t seen or worked with in over 3 weeks. It was only through a car window but nonetheless seeing them reminded me that we still have the best of the best working around the clock to keep the people of Fort Worth safe.

Many of you have asked to know the details of my experience (how I was exposed, symptoms, treatments, etc.) and I promise I’ll share all of that one day when I’m back to my normal self. I think I need to process the whole thing first.

Today though I look at my running shoes that I haven’t worn in 3 weeks. I know running isn’t in my future for a while but walking (slowly) is. So on the first day I’m feeling human again... I’m putting these shoes on and I’m walking to the stop sign.

It may not even register on my FitBit but it’s a start. Today I may not meet any of the personal goals I set for myself for 2020... but I can say that I’m on my way to beating Covid.

And that’s a goal I’m really lucky to meet. 💛

September 6, 2020

Back in June I registered for a virtual 5K that the Yankees were sponsoring. The proceeds went to local New York City non-profits helping to support those battling COVID. At the time my heart hurt thinking of all of the elderly sitting alone in a City that is usually filled with so much life and movement but had become so lonely and desolate. I saw the footage of nurses and doctors overwhelmed... families unable to be with their loved ones as they passed away from the virus... and funerals not being held because it wasn’t safe to gather with family. My heart went out to those at the epicenter of the pandemic. It was the least I could do— run a 5k. 

But then I got the virus myself and running a race became out of the question and the race came and went. Today though, I made the decision to walk the whole 5k. Because exactly what prompted me to register for the race months ago is the reality our family is living right now. 😕 I promised her I would beat Covid and I would be ok.... so this one was for you Grandma. 

I didn’t break any records (except for possibly slowest time ever) but I did it. And I wish I had the chance to tell you that I came through on my promise. You were the personification of “New York” so it only seems right. 🤍💙

December 20, 2020

“I have to get my miles in.”

Anyone who interacts with me regularly has heard those 7 words multiple times since January 1st. I set out to complete 2,020 miles in 2020 and as someone who is not the strongest math student, I don’t think I knew what I was actually signing up for in December 2019. And of all the years to run.... I picked 2020.

Dierks Bentley sings “Every Mile a Memory” and honestly that has a whole new meaning to me this year.

There were the miles on the treadmill in the gym late at night wearing sunglasses so no one could see my “exercise band incident” black eyes.

There were the miles in February walked in circles around the EOC wearing a heart monitor trying to figure out what made my heart rate spike while reading a briefing on this “Coronavirus situation” in Washington.

There was the absolute panic of gyms closing in March and beginning to work 16+ hours a day so my miles were put in at random hours around my house. In circles. In isolation.

There were the miles as the temperatures started to rise that felt like the concrete below me was melting.

Then there were no miles. Weeks of staring at the finisher’s medal hanging by the front door (ironically next to the IV bags) wondering if I would ever be able to put it on. If I could even earn it this year.

Then running turned to walking. Slowly. 🐢

The first trip from the porch to the driveway. Then the driveway to the stop sign. (And panting)

The first 10,000 step in one day again.

The first 5K I did after hanging up the phone with my siblings. I walked with tears streaming down my face cursing Covid. She pleaded with us to let her “go”... and we told her we loved her and it was ok.

The “I’m so angry at a boy” miles on the high school track after work and the “these two little boys mean the world to me” miles in Oklahoma holding their hands.

And 12/20/20 on Trinity Trail. 👊🏻 2,020 miles.

And every mile a memory of a year I never want to relive but never will forget.

Thank you to everyone that joined me on the phone... that pushed me to keep going when I said, “I’m too tired”... and to those of you who thought I was crazy but walked along from afar with me anyway 💛