On this edition of “A Catholic Reading the Bible One Chapter at a Time”… The Forbidden Book.
You can’t make me. I won’t do it. Nope. Inside that Book is the playbook for evil. This is the Book of the Anti-Christ, demons and cults. The Book that David Koresh and The Son of Sam read as a bedtime story. The place where Jim Jones got his juice recipe. Nope. I will not read it because it is apocalyptic and evil.
One flawed CCD teacher in 1995 and an easily persuaded faithless Kristen leads to the abstention- for all eternity- from that wretched book of Satanical lullabies. Until… with a lot of coddling and ‘please don’t think a baby lamb actually gets married’— I began reading the book on the 9th. To say I was terrified was an understatement. But like a little kid taking it’s first steps— I toddled into the “intro.”
My friend and mentor is challenging me to get out of my comfort zone. I have decided that I like being loved. I like being a little lamb comforted and kept safe. My head pet and told I’m a good child and that He cares for me. But as the quintessential “middle child with anxiety” I also get nervous.
- “Is He mad right there because His tone is a bit harsh? How long does He stay mad?”
- “People mess up all the time right. It’s not like I’m going to commit murder so at what point is He not MAD but just DISAPPOINTED in me because maybe that’s actually worse?”
- “That, ‘truly I tell you’ didn’t sound right. Is He ok? Is He mad at me?”
- “I was going to talk to Him last night but I know how busy He must be right now with everything that’s going on and I don’t want to be a burden and add more to His plate and then He gets angry with me and I—“
Shhh. Stop. Quiet.
He loves you. He is a Father that will love you and will care about you no matter what and is ALWAYS excited when you come back to Him.
“Right but— what about?”
(I’m assuming this is the permanent face of my amazing mentor )
So you can ONLY imagine my surprise moment as I sat with Revelation Chapter 7 and read verses 3-4. Are you telling me that in the midst of the world crumbling, trumpets sounding, the Apocalypse in full swing: God placed HIS seal on the foreheads of 140,000 of His servants?
[Runs to mentor to clarify that I am one of the “servants” being mentioned— and smile learning that in fact… I am! ]
The Pastor (in the app) explaining the Chapter for me did something I never could have imagined: He took a Book in the Bible I have been terrified of since childhood and compared it to a Pixar movie.
His seal on His People? Well, it’s like putting your name on your favorite toy. When Woody was worried that he would be left behind because he couldn’t find his hat? He looked under his boot and saw “Andy.”
When there were two Buzz Lightyear’s and they needed to know which one was the real one? They looked under his boot and saw “Andy.”
And when did Jessie and Bullseye finally know that they were safe and had found a forever home? When “Andy” was written on their feet.
No demons? No cults? No Kool-Aid?…. In this scary chapter—I’m still loved?
God places His seal on the things that are His. He marks His people to let them know they are safe (), they are the real ones (), and they are His ().
I’m only half-way through the Book I feared my entire life. And the imagery and symbolism are enough to give you nightmares. But when it gets scary… I just try to stay the course until I finish it and finally see what it’s all about.
In the meantime though— I’ve learned that when I’m scared, anxious, overwhelmed, confused, or feeling alone… I just have to look under my boot. Because I’ve been sealed in permanent marker with His name marking every step I take.
Which is funny to think about because my name is Kristen… which means “Follower of Christ.” He is leading and I clearly must follow because His name is on me.