You don't know it but you're being born into two families. One is your Mommy, Daddy, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and a whole bunch of people who you share a family tree with. The other is a family that is so incredibly large I can't begin to introduce you to them all. But you'll learn that this family is a part of who you are just because of a certain someone. And let me tell you a little about what you can expect... because, you see, you and I share this special bond.
Your Daddy is a policeman.
Your Daddy has a job like no other job. And it is going to take a little to get used to but I promise that in time you will understand.
You will understand that every day when he walks out the door he is not going to an office. He is not wearing a suit and tie. He is wearing a uniform with a silver shield on the front of it. When he goes to work he has one goal: to keep the city he swore to protect safe from the bad guys. That means he is the person who puts himself in the middle of the danger or in harm's way to keep people safe. He will also make sure they're going the speed limit, keeping their music at a reasonable decibel level and minding those red octagons on the side of the road. But every day your Daddy puts on that uniform, that belt, that badge and he walks out the door to keep people safe.
That sounds pretty awesome, huh?
Let's chat.
In a way you will wear that badge too. You won't be out protecting people or catching the bad guys but you will "serve" in your own way. And I want to make sure that you know... some days it is really hard. I wish I could promise you that it gets easier as you get older but trust me when I say it doesn't. You just learn that this is a part of who you are and you learn to be proud.
Your Daddy isn't going to make it to all your softball games. Your Daddy isn't going to make it to every Thanksgiving Dinner or Christmas morning. And sometimes he may miss your birthday. It's not because he doesn't love you- oh sweet girl trust me that he loves you! But it's because the people need him out there to keep him safe. And he made a promise to those people that he would protect them. And the bad guys don't know you have a spelling bee or that it's your 13th birthday. You can feel disappointed but know that he wishes he could be there.
Speaking of spelling bees. When I was in first grade I made it to the State Spelling Bee. (Your Aunt is a little bit of a nerd). I was so excited. I was sitting on stage and I looked out into the audience and I saw my Mommy but my Daddy wasn't in the seat next to her. I didn't win the Spelling Bee ("balloon" is a lot harder to spell than it appears) but I was more upset that my Daddy wasn't there. And when I found out he was at work while I was trying to win the Spelling Bee I was even more angry. So when he got home I told him that I was so mad and I yelled at him. He said he was sorry and that he had to help a little girl. But I didn't care. I thought that he must of loved that little girl more than he loved me to skip my competition to be with her. I didn't understand.
I didn't see the exhaustion in his face. I didn't see the hurt he had when I said those mean words. I didn't think about what he had done that day and maybe if it had been really hard on him. And he didn't tell me for a really long time what "helping a little girl" really meant. But when he did tell me that day no longer was "The Day my Daddy didn't go to my Spelling Bee." That day was "The Day my Daddy saved a little girl's life." You see this little girl had a mommy who wasn't very nice. She didn't give this little girl who was about 4 years old a lot of love or food. And she broke a lot of rules. So my Daddy went to her house and took that little girl away from the mean mommy. And the little girl was going to go to a new house where she would get a lot of love but she was really hungry. So instead of leaving work and coming to my Spelling Bee my Daddy took this little girl to McDonald's. And she ate a Happy Meal and then ate my Daddy's food too. This little girl didn't know my Daddy but she saw the shield on his uniform and she knew that she was finally safe. That's a pretty special Daddy to have, right?
You have one of those too. And your Daddy has helped so many little kids and given so much of his energy to making people safer. He is really good at that job. But we need to talk about what happens when Daddy isn't able to make people safe. When unfortunately it's just too late.
Your Daddy is going to come home and he is going to be really quiet. He may even look really angry or mad but I promise you he is not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong. He will try so hard to leave those sad feelings at the front door but a lot of times they follow him inside. He is going to want a hug but then he is going to want some quiet time. He may not want to eat dinner. And your Mommy may look at him... tell him that she loves him... and then take you and your brothers into another room. At first your Mommy is going to help you know when Daddy has had a bad day. But you will learn. And you will know that on those days giving him his space is actually loving him a lot when he really needs that extra love. It won't always be like that though. There are days Daddy will come home and it would be just another day. Soak those days up. Laugh and be silly and hug him as much as you can. But know sometimes when he comes home his heart hurts and his eyes have seen things he wants to make sure you never see.
Your Daddy will be your hero. You are going to think that he hung the moon and that he is the strongest, bravest, smartest man in the whole world. And you know what? He is.
But there is one thing I want you to know about your Daddy that is super hard for girls like you and me to understand: Not everyone likes your Daddy. And they say really, really bad things about him. They will call your Daddy names. They will yell at your Daddy and sometimes they will threaten to hurt him. And I know that doesn't make sense and that it is also really scary to hear. Because your Daddy is your hero... how can anyone not like him? He helps people right? He misses Spelling Bee Championships to save little girls. He misses dinner because there was a little boy who needed his hand held after a car accident. He spent money he was saving up for something nice to buy a refrigerator for an old man who couldn't afford one for his medicine and Daddy was trying to help him stay safe. How can people not like him?
In this world there are good and bad people. And some times those lines are not so clear and they are confusing. That second family I told you that you are going to have now? That's your Thin Blue Line family. That's the men and women like your Daddy who wear the uniform and badge and do what your Daddy does every day. You are a part of that family now. And it's a special one to be a part of because those police officers will always have your back and will always take care of you. But sometimes a bad police officer gets in the way. And people will think all police officers are bad. That is not true sweet girl. They are going to say things to hurt your Daddy but I know those words will hurt you too. Trust me when I say that I have heard those words... I have read those mean comments... I have seen the hatred and I have watched that Thin Blue Line family hurt very badly. They feel the pain of their community when bad cops do bad things. They cry too but they are REALLY good at hiding that pain. They don't want to be called those bad names or have people try to hurt them. But it's a part of wearing that badge on their chest.
I need you to know that by being his daughter you will hear those words and you will be scared. You will think the worst and you will hope for the best. You will see your Mommy look at her phone a little more and she will turn off the news. You will see that Daddy doesn't talk about being a policeman when he isn't at home and I know that's confusing because you want to scream it loudly and proudly. It doesn't make a lot of sense now but hopefully one day it will.
Sweet Alaina you are being born into a role that you don't know about yet. But you will learn. You're going to be different from the other kids. And trust me when you're finally allowed to date you'll see just how different that is too. But you're being born into a family where you will learn the importance of saying "I love you" every day. You will learn respect and discipline. You will learn that the roots of our Thin Blue Line family are five generations deep. One day we will talk about a Tuesday morning in September. One day we will talk about how a birthday dinner ended in Dallas. I promise to hold your hand and teach you everything I know about the life you are being born into...
Because your Daddy is my brother.
Your Grandpa is my Daddy.
Your Great-Grandpa was my Grandpa.
And they are policemen.
