Friday, January 23, 2009

Boy Talk with a 5 year old

As many of you are aware, I spend more time with children under the age of 8 than I do with people my own age. Therefore, my social skills are not only lacking but are starting to take a quick nose dive into conversations of Princesses and more importantly, that using the potty means you are a big girl!

Recently, I had the privilege to spend my Saturday night with a 5-year old to sit down and have a one-on-one serious conversation about men. I think it was necessary and I gained much knowledge....

Leighton: So, how old are you?

Tin-Tin (me): 24

Leighton: Wow!! How old is your husband?

Tin-Tin-: I don't have a husband.

Leighton: Do you have a boyfriend?

Tin-Tin: Nope. I am single. I live alone with just my cats. (cue onset of depression and self-pity)

Leighton: Did you have a boyfriend? I mean, you're old!

Tin-Tin (resisting the urge to engage in, "i know you are but what am i" tactics): I did have a boyfriend but he was mean.

Leighton: Did you kill him? Is he dead?

Tin-Tin (laughing, because she is not far from the truth of my almost-course of action): No, he's not dead. We just broke up.

Leighton (looking so very confused): Well, I'm 5 and I have a boyfriend.

Tin-Tin (saying woo-freakity-hoo under my breath): Wow, that's cool. Is he cute?

Leighton: Boys aren't cute. Ew. They just do things you tell them too and sit next to you at lunch. I had another boyfriend but he ate worms and that's gross. Boys are gross. But you're old and that means you should have a husband.

Tin-Tin (omg, she's my mother in miniature form!!!): Well, I will find a boyfriend one day. Just have to wait for him to come along.

Leighton: But you're old. You don't have a lot of time to wait. You need to look NOW!

Tin-Tin (really???): I do huh? Well, will you help me? Do you know of anyone I can date?

Leighton (looking inquisitive): Well, I know a guy but he is getting married to a really pretty girl. She likes football. You should like football too- boys like that. Oh! There is a boy in my class but he only likes Star Wars stuff and says he is going to marry his mom.

Tin-Tin (thinking to myself- if she only knew that nothing changes in the real world honey!)

Leighton: Oh!! Do you like Mexican food?

Tin-Tin (where is she going with this.. maybe she knows someone who runs a restaurant and is single. I love Mexican food! I could meet this guy, we could totally hit it off and we could be running a chain of Mexican food joints together and live happily ever after!!! This girl could be onto something! *gaining composure*) Yes, why?

Leighton: Because you could marry a Taco!

*** And people wonder why I own so many self-help books!!! My "girls-nights" include sippy cups and conversations about boys that eat worms and pull pigtails during silent reading. But then again.... I do like Tacos.***

1 comment:

seh3e3 said...

Haha!! When I was a preschool teacher and getting serious with my boyfriend, I took a playground survey of who the kids wanted to marry.... Most of them said their mom or their dog. One 3 year old boy didn't want to get married, he just wanted to "stay in the car." :)