Tuesday, November 25, 2008

He got Married... And I Can't Get Over that.

Dinner with Emily... a college dorm mate and a good friend.

Kristen: So basically, while we were together, even three years of being together, he was seeing someone else and married her before we broke up. And just, well, forgot to tell me.

Emily: You can't be serious. Where does your life come from? Lifetime can't even make this stuff up! You need to write a book. Start with the time that Jesse dumped you on the Parthenon steps and I came to get you.

Kristen: Get me? I called you weeping and you practically scraped me off the cold cement ground with a shovel because I refused to let go of the pillar he last touched.

Emily: That too. I was just putting it nicely. Trying not to bring back bad memories.

Kristen: Bad memories? My boyfriend of 3 years got married while we were still together and just forgot to tell me. I don't think you can top that one. (laughing)

Emily: I don't see how you are laughing. He got married! That is not funny. He didn't even have the decency to call you before walking down the aisle and say "honey, don't make dinner tonight, I have my reception to go to."

Kristen: You're right. Asshat. I probably cooked him dinner that night too. What a waste.

Emily: Obviously not my point. You don't seem too shaken over this.

Kristen: It's amazing what channeling Kelly Clarkson and Lizzie Borden at the same time can do for you. I am just going to take future relationships slow. Ask what they do for a living. Ask about their family. Their kids. Their wife. Then take it from there.

Emily: At least you have a plan. At least he taught you something in the midst of his immoral and indecent acts. Who does that anyway? Who marries a girl while dating another one?

Kristen: Apparently my ex. New subject please?

Emily: um, OK. How's work? Still trying to turn the country into a conservative stronghold? Still have Bush on speed-dial?

Kristen: Of course. Just a day in the life of Kristen. Answer phones. Work on constituent issues. Read emails. Determine people's futures. You know. Same old stuff as always. I am really excited about the House going Republican though. That will open the doors to a lot of new good, conservative legislation. And a new Speaker of the House finally. What about you?

Emily: He got married, and I just can't get over that.

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